Friday, September 24, 2010

I Can't Breathe

I can't breathe.
I'm still waiting to exhale.
Holding my breath.
I'm near sudden death.
I'm praying, hoping, wishing
On one shining star
To come and light my path.
Illuminate my darkest parts.
Shine on my deepest fears.
Take away these burdens, my fears.

I can't breathe.
I'm still waiting to exhale.
To breathe out this anguish.
The disappointments from
False expectations that
Left me alone and lonely.

I can't breathe.
I'm still waiting to exhale.
Then inhale
A breath of fresh air.
Something out of the norm.
An abnormality that
Refuses to conform
To this world,
To the acceptance of
Mediocrity and assimilation
To society's wrapped
Sense of morality.

I can't breathe.
I'm still waiting to exhale.
Then inhale the Truth
Which liberates me
Frees me from the constraints
Of mind games that
Have me tripping into sin,
Stumbling over transgressions,
And then falling...
Falling in love with The One
Who breathes into me
The Breath of Life
So that I can finally exhale
And then inhale Him,
His presence, His glory,
His righteousness, His love.
Now I can exhale.

Kendy Ward

Monday, September 20, 2010

Some Time in April

In 2007 my sister, Denise, traveled to Rwanda with a non-profit organization called the Business Council for Peace. The Council's mission was to go to Rwanda and train genocide survivors in business skills. With a Bachelors in Food Service Management and a Masters in Hospitality Management my sister was paired with the owner of a small hotel in Rwanda. My sister fell in love with Rwanda and the people. She started a non-profit organization, My Brother's Keeper, and returned to Rwanda in 2008 to offer aide to widows and orphans. As she prepares to return once again to Rwanda in October I thought I would share this speech I gave to in 2007 after her first visit. Enjoy and remember we are our brothers' keeper.

On April 6th, 1994, Augustine and his wife, Jeanne, had just put their two sons, Marcus and Yves Andres to bed when a loud explosion sent them to their window. They peered out the window and saw a plane falling from the sky. The local radio station broadcasted that the Rwandan president and the newly elected president of Burundi had just been assassinated, and for Augustine, a Hutu and Jeanne his Tutsi wife this was the beginning of the end.

The Hutu and Tutsi tribes coexisted in what is now known as Burundi and Rwanda for many, many years. It was European colonist that drew racial lines between the two tribes, establishing Tutsis that have what they considered more European features as superior to the Hutus. The two tribes were distinguished by identity cards that stated whether they were Hutu or Tutsi. Tutsis were the majority in government, the majority in military and received better housing and education. Resentment mounted between the two groups, resulting in ongoing conflicts. Burundi experienced two genocides prior to the Rwanda genocide of 1994. In 1972 nearly 200,000 Hutus were exterminated by the Tutsis, and in 1993 an estimated 400,000 Tutsis were murdered by Hutus, but April 6th, 1994, marked the beginning of one of the most horrific genocides in modern history. Over the next 100 days the world stood by and watched as nearly one million Rwandans were murdered.

Augstin’s brother, Honore’ worked at a local Hutu radio station that was broadcasting propaganda, calling for the extermination of all Tutsi cockroaches. He knew the plans of his fellow Hutu extremist. He knew that thousands of machetes had been imported from China. This would be their weapon of choice. He also knew that as a Tutsi his sister-in-law and two nephews would be murdered. He went to Augustine’s house to warn him. They decided that Honore’ would take Jeanne and the boys and drive them out of the country to neighboring Congo. Augustine and his best friend, Xavier, a Tutsi also, would stay behind and find their own way out of the country. By this time day one of the genocide had come to an end and thirty thousand people had been killed. As Honore’ and Jeanne drove they saw dead bodies lining the streets. The Hutus had set up check points along the way to check identification cards. They forced Honore’ out of his car, checking his ID they realized that he was Hutu, but still demanded the IDs of his passengers. As Jeanne fought to protect her sons she was knocked unconscious by one of the Hutu soldiers. Her sons were executed. They left her for dead. Later that night Honore’ returned to where Jeanne’s body had been dumped. He found her alive and took her to a church where he left her on the door steps. Inside the church hundreds of Tutsis were hiding, hoping that they would be safe from the Hutus there. They were wrong. Here Jeanne was raped by several Hutu men. As they planned to kill her she stole a grenade from one of the soldiers and pulled the pin, killing herself and the soldiers.

Meanwhile Augustine and Xavier were attempting to make their way out of the country. UN and Belgium soldiers had been sent in to evacuate all foreigners. Augustine attempted to follow the UN convoy but the convoy was stopped by a road block. He begged the soldiers to tell the Hutus he was a part of their convoy. They wouldn’t. Xavier was executed. The killings continued, and by the end of the first week over two hundred thousand people were murdered.

Here in the US former Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs, Prudence Bushnell, urged President Clinton to do something to stop these mass killings, but like the leader of the Hutus told her during a phone conversation Rwanda lacked any resource that the US needed so it had no interest in the small country. Still she tried to convince the Department of Defense to do something to intervene.

Augustine made it to the hotel made famous by the movie Hotel Rwanda where he stayed until Paul Kagame who was the leader of the army and is now the president of Rwanda was able to subdue the Hutus and bring some semblance of order back to the country.

Augustine started his search for his family. The first place he went to was the boarding school that his daughter, Anna Marie, attended. He had hoped like so many others that the Hutus would have had mercy upon the children, but they didn’t. There he found the remains of most of the girls. He his daughter had also been killed.

Eight hundred thousand people died in Rwanda between April 1994 and June 1994. This story that I have shared with you is fictional. It is from the HBO movie Sometimes in April, but even though the story is not true, the events that happened during this three month period are very true. It is a story of hate, prejudice, and social inequality. It is a Rwandan story. It is a Jewish story. It is an American story. It is our story.

My sister recently traveled to Rwanda where she worked with a genocide survivor. When she first shared with me that she wanted to go Rwanda I was a bit apprehensive because of what had taken place there a mere fourteen years ago, but I knew that it was something that she had to do.

She told me that the thing that amazed her the Denise and Symphrose

most was the spirit of the people. After having

lost her husband and having to flee to Congo with her four sons Symphrose Mukantamu was able to return to Rwanda and open a hotel. A hotel! Three of her sons are in Canada in college. Her youngest is still in high school. My brother who attends the University of Arkansas was able to meet with the admissions office and persuade them to allow Rwandan students to pay in state school fees, which is a lot less than out of state fees. So if all goes well Symprhose’s son Chico will be attending the University of Arkansas. My sister also plans to meet with both Johnson and Wales University and Florida International University to discuss the same sort plan for Rwandan students who are accepted to those schools.

When I went to New York I met Richard, also a genocide survivor, and I began to understand what my sister meant when she spoke about the amazing spirit of these people. Richard like so many others lost his entire family during the genocide. My sister visited the boarding school that was portrayed in the movie and also the genocide memorial center that was funded by President Bill Clinton. She felt her eyes tear up but when she looked around her at Symphrose, Richard, and his girlfriend Denise, and saw that their eyes were dry she felt like she had no reason to cry if they were not. They each have been able to rise above the hate that they lived through.

The world is truly flat and just because you don’t live in Africa does not mean that what happens there does not affect you here. I believe it is our duty as human beings living on the same planet to be our brother’s keeper. There are non-profit organizations that we each can become involved in to do our little bit to help because one April morning you could wake up and someone with a machete can be banging on your door to kill you just because you’re

Richard and Denise

tall or short, fat or skinny, black or white. Just because you’re not what they are.

“It is said when Imana created this land he grew so found of it, he returned every night to rest. When did paradise become hell? From the start even the conquest was a regrettable misunderstanding. Europe gave the land to its conqueror and the king knew nothing of it. It was never about civilization, never about tribe or race. It was always about greed, arrogance, and power. And when we finally grasped the horror it was too late.

“And every year, and every day in April a haunting emptiness descends upon our hearts. Every year in April I remember how quickly life ends. Every year in April I remember how lucky I should feel to be alive. Every year in April I remember. On April 12th, 1994, my wife Jeanne was killed. In that same month my sons Marcus and Yves Andre were killed. My friend Xavier was killed in the month of April. My daughter Anne-Marie was killed some time later, but I never asked when.”

~Some Time in April~

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Genocide of a Generation

This generation is under attack.

In November 2008 a Broward County teen committed suicide live on the internet. Teen suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people ages 15-24.

Another Broward County teen shot and killed a classmate at school also in November 2008. The Children's Defense Fund reports that every day 13 children under the age of 20 are killed, and US News estimates that there are a total 270,000 guns that go to school every day.

In March of this year a 16 year old Virginia native was killed when the car he was travelling in crashed into a tree. The driver of the car, also a teen, was drunk. According to the National Institute of Alcohol and Alcoholism 25% of 8th graders, 49% of 10th graders and 62% of 12th graders have been drunk before.

About 20% of teens will experience depression before adult hood, every year there will be approximately 750,000 teen pregnancies and according to statistics 1/3 of all teen dating involves violence.

I haven't mentioned teen drug use, teens that battle with mental health issues such as bi-polar disorder, teen rape, molestation or child abuse.

Revelation 12:14 says, "... the dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth to devour her child the moment it was born." We know from Jesus' temptation in the wilderness in Luke 4 that Satan is very familiar with the Word of God. He knows that God said in Joel 2:28 that in the last days He has a plan for that generation. It says that your sons and daughters will prophesy. So the enemy's plan is stop that Word from being made manifest on the Earth. His plan is to devour our children through suicide, drugs, alcohol, murder, violence, teen pregnancy, depression and any other tactic he can come up with.

We should not underestimate Satan. The very first description that is given of him in Genesis 3:1 is that he was cunning. The word cunning means subtle and deceptive. The enemy is subtly and deceptively launching an all out attack against our young people. His plan is to wipe them out. His plan is genocide. A genocide is the systematic and deliberate extermination of a race or nationality.

Technically our young people cannot be considered a "race or nationality", but the attack that has been launched against them is both systematic and deliberate. Our counter attack, then, should also be systematic and deliberate. Our strategy - pursue, overtake and recover all.

In I Samuel 30 David had just returned from battle to Ziglag to find that all the women and children had been kidnapped. He and his men mourned. Then he asked God, "Should I pursue the Amalekites? Will I overtake?" David was not interested in recovering material things. He was only interested in the recovering the women and children. God answered David, "Pursue overtake and recover all."

Satan has come into our camp just as the Amalekites had raided Ziglag. Sure he's stolen from us some material things, but more importantly he has lured our children away with drugs, alcohol, sex, depression and violence, and God is instructing us to purse, overtake and recover all. We do this through prayer, fasting and evangelism. "Going out into all the world" means the high schools. Satan used his cunning to get prayer out of schools. As Christians we must get it back in schools. As Christian parents we must declare "as for me and my house we will serve the Lord".

In April through June 1994 nearly one million Rwandans died in a genocide. It came to an end when 14,000 Rwandan soldiers took up arms against the "government" that had initiated the genocide. They seized Kigali, the capital of Rwanda, and declared a cease fire.

The enemy has taken more than a million of our youth. Who is going to take up arms against demonic forces, seize the Earth and declare peace? Who is going stop this genocide?

Kendy Ward



Saturday, September 4, 2010

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time I used to believe in happily ever after, but then I realized that life is not a fairy tale. I don't think I'll ever be mistaken for Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty or any one of those story book princesses; and the chances of Prince Charming riding into my life are slim to none.



See I don't live "a land far far way". I live in the 21st Century where about 50% of marriages end in divorce. I live in a time where for a lot of my contemporaries marriage is not even a desire. These are not the days of great love stories but of great love tragedies. Where boy meets girl, girl falls madly in love with boy, and the boy beats her up or worse kills her. I've seen too many mamas left to raise children on their own to believe in happily ever after. I've heard of too many men with six kids and four different "baby mamas", and too many women who wear the title "baby mama" like a badge of honor.



The stark reality that the male/female relationship has deteriorated to this point, and that a "traditional" family has become an ideology has left me some what jaded in my own desire for "true love". Jaded in a way that makes me some times wonder exactly what is "true love". I'm a skeptic by nature and I am really skeptical that there's a man who can love me "as Christ loves the church". God's love I embrace and bask in easily. It's Prince Charming's love that I have problem with.



Why should I bother with marriage, family and whole kitten caboodle if there's an expiration date. If I'm getting in the thing knowing I have an out called divorce, and that the vows I said before God and man (until death do us part) doesn't amount to a hill beans, why spend thousands of dollars on a wedding? So I can live miserably ever after? I might as well keep my money and stay single.



Here's what's wrong with that philosophy. God created us for relationships. Our whole society is based on the interactions of humans in relationships on one level or another. God said that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone so He created for him a helper. Adam did not find companionship with the animals God gave to him. None of them were suitable. So God gave him a woman. Adam was only compatible with that which came from a part of himself.



God set a precedence in Genesis 2. It's not good for any of us to be alone, and I believe God has created for each of us a "help mate". I am some man's rib. It doesn't sound romantic, but it really is. The whole quest for a relationship that we call "dating" is about putting the rib back in. It has to fit just right.



God's will is perfect. He created love and Moses wrote the first love story when he told the story of Adam and Eve. His desire is for us not to be alone. He also desires that I not be a skeptic so He gave me a great example of ever lasting love in my parents.


My parents met 38 years ago when my mother came to work at the Lyford Cay Club in Nassau, Bahamas, where my father was already working. As the story goes my dad had been checking out the "new girl" for some time before their official introduction by fellow co-worker in the cafeteria. From that point forward the two became inseparable. Legend has it that my dad would ride on the bus with my mother to her stop which was way out his way so he could spend time with her. They were friends for four years before my dad proposed to my mother and on September 4, 1976, they were married. My dad had saved up all his pennies, nickels and dimes and built a three bedroom house for his bride on the eastern side of the island. Both my parents came from very humble beginnings so a three bedroom house was like a mansion to the them. Three years later in 1979, I came along, and was the apple of parents' eyes. They spoiled me terribly. My sister, Denise, was born in 1983, and my brother, Quincy, joined the family in 1987.



I have watched my parents over the years create a home for us and provide for the three of us in every possible way. As a child I hardly ever remember them arguing. They presented a united front to us. I could never talk one into something the other hadn't said, but that didn't stop me from trying to manipulate them. They exposed us to a world outside of that seven by twenty mile island that we lived on that a lot of my peers knew nothing. We've gone on vacation almost every year since I was two years old.



I remember when I was a child my dad used to open the car door for my mom, and wondered why he did that because I didn't see other men doing that. It left a major impression on me and created a guide for me on what I should expect from a man. My dad is the consummate gentleman and provider, and my mother the nurturer, caregiver and disciplinary. They fit perfectly together, and there is no doubt in my mind that my mom was my dad's missing rib.



So today, on their 34th wedding anniversary, I want the world to know that I believe in fairy tales again because once upon a time in a land called the Bahamas there was a beautiful Princess named Trudy who meant a handsome Prince named Kenneth. They fell in love and are living happily ever after.





Kendy Ward