Once upon a time I used to believe in happily ever after, but then I realized that life is not a fairy tale. I don't think I'll ever be mistaken for Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty or any one of those story book princesses; and the chances of Prince Charming riding into my life are slim to none.
My parents met 38 years ago when my mother came to work at the Lyford Cay Club in Nassau, Bahamas, where my father was already working. As the story goes my dad had been checking out the "new girl" for some time before their official introduction by fellow co-worker in the cafeteria. From that point forward the two became inseparable. Legend has it that my dad would ride on the bus with my mother to her stop which was way out his way so he could spend time with her. They were friends for four years before my dad proposed to my mother and on September 4, 1976, they were married. My dad had saved up all his pennies, nickels and dimes and built a three bedroom house for his bride on the eastern side of the island. Both my parents came from very humble beginnings so a three bedroom house was like a mansion to the them. Three years later in 1979, I came along, and was the apple of parents' eyes. They spoiled me terribly. My sister, Denise, was born in 1983, and my brother, Quincy, joined the family in 1987.
See I don't live "a land far far way". I live in the 21st Century where about 50% of marriages end in divorce. I live in a time where for a lot of my contemporaries marriage is not even a desire. These are not the days of great love stories but of great love tragedies. Where boy meets girl, girl falls madly in love with boy, and the boy beats her up or worse kills her. I've seen too many mamas left to raise children on their own to believe in happily ever after. I've heard of too many men with six kids and four different "baby mamas", and too many women who wear the title "baby mama" like a badge of honor.
The stark reality that the male/female relationship has deteriorated to this point, and that a "traditional" family has become an ideology has left me some what jaded in my own desire for "true love". Jaded in a way that makes me some times wonder exactly what is "true love". I'm a skeptic by nature and I am really skeptical that there's a man who can love me "as Christ loves the church". God's love I embrace and bask in easily. It's Prince Charming's love that I have problem with.
Why should I bother with marriage, family and whole kitten caboodle if there's an expiration date. If I'm getting in the thing knowing I have an out called divorce, and that the vows I said before God and man (until death do us part) doesn't amount to a hill beans, why spend thousands of dollars on a wedding? So I can live miserably ever after? I might as well keep my money and stay single.
Here's what's wrong with that philosophy. God created us for relationships. Our whole society is based on the interactions of humans in relationships on one level or another. God said that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone so He created for him a helper. Adam did not find companionship with the animals God gave to him. None of them were suitable. So God gave him a woman. Adam was only compatible with that which came from a part of himself.
God set a precedence in Genesis 2. It's not good for any of us to be alone, and I believe God has created for each of us a "help mate". I am some man's rib. It doesn't sound romantic, but it really is. The whole quest for a relationship that we call "dating" is about putting the rib back in. It has to fit just right.
God's will is perfect. He created love and Moses wrote the first love story when he told the story of Adam and Eve. His desire is for us not to be alone. He also desires that I not be a skeptic so He gave me a great example of ever lasting love in my parents.
My parents met 38 years ago when my mother came to work at the Lyford Cay Club in Nassau, Bahamas, where my father was already working. As the story goes my dad had been checking out the "new girl" for some time before their official introduction by fellow co-worker in the cafeteria. From that point forward the two became inseparable. Legend has it that my dad would ride on the bus with my mother to her stop which was way out his way so he could spend time with her. They were friends for four years before my dad proposed to my mother and on September 4, 1976, they were married. My dad had saved up all his pennies, nickels and dimes and built a three bedroom house for his bride on the eastern side of the island. Both my parents came from very humble beginnings so a three bedroom house was like a mansion to the them. Three years later in 1979, I came along, and was the apple of parents' eyes. They spoiled me terribly. My sister, Denise, was born in 1983, and my brother, Quincy, joined the family in 1987.I have watched my parents over the years create a home for us and provide for the three of us in every possible way. As a child I hardly ever remember them arguing. They presented a united front to us. I could never talk one into something the other hadn't said, but that didn't stop me from trying to manipulate them. They exposed us to a world outside of that seven by twenty mile island that we lived on that a lot of my peers knew nothing. We've gone on vacation almost every year since I was two years old.
I remember when I was a child my dad used to open the car door for my mom, and wondered why he did that because I didn't see other men doing that. It left a major impression on me and created a guide for me on what I should expect from a man. My dad is the consummate gentleman and provider, and my mother the nurturer, caregiver and disciplinary. They fit perfectly together, and there is no doubt in my mind that my mom was my dad's missing rib.
So today, on their 34th wedding anniversary, I want the world to know that I believe in fairy tales again because once upon a time in a land called the Bahamas there was a beautiful Princess named Trudy who meant a handsome Prince named Kenneth. They fell in love and are living happily ever after.
Kendy Ward
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